It’s no secret that today we’re bombarded with more messages, sales pitches and demands on our precious time, energy and attention than ever before.
Now some messages are gold nuggets, but how can you tell for sure when someone crosses the line of exerting undue influence over you for a win-lose purpose?
Just as there are 6 Weapons of Influence, I want to introduce you to the
6 Warning Signs to Avoid Influence Disaster:
#1 The Pawn Game – Remember Eddie Haskell from “Leave it to Beaver”? His words dripped with unwarranted compliments…too many too soon. What's happening here is the art of being handled unfairly--manipulation. When the relationship is one-sided to suit the other’s purpose, profit or advantage, you’re headed for disaster. Selfishness has no place in healthy, working relationships.
#2 The Fear Thread – This is the toughest game of mental intimidation. Once this person knows your greatest fear, s/he uses it to readily get her/his own way. What they’ll say: “Gee, if you don’t do this than (fill in your greatest fear) will definitely happen.” What you should think: “Why am I spending time with someone who uses scare tactics as a communication method?”
#3 The No Choice Option – Sadly, you’re told: “There’s nothing else you can do so get on with it.” Can you hear the ‘it’s now or never’ meta-message at the core? Pressure, pressure, pressure is a form of disrespect. Remember, there’s never a way out of no-way.
#4 Back Scratcher – “You do this for me and I’ll do this for you.” Obviously, this is the tit-for-tat scenario, that some choose to call negotiation. The difference between influence and negotiation is that with negotiation you get only part of what you want whereas with influence you get exactly what you want. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.
#5 Group Think – If everybody jumped off the George Washington Bridge, would you? Being expected to follow the direction of the group simply because it is a group is not a good reason. Recognize and know the dynamics of how a group works. If you look closely you may see that there is one person who is spearheading the movement—completely unquestioned. Think all angles through and decide what’s right for you.
#6 Actions & Words Collide – With the abundance of free information at your fingertips, it’s easier than ever to notice when something is missing from a presentation, a fact doesn’t fit or an action just doesn’t make sense. It’s also easier now for people to outwardly portray themselves as an expert, while in reality, you’re being lied to. “It just doesn’t add up,” is a reasonable conclusion.
Stay genuine and authentic to who you are
So next time you’re about to put your blood, sweat and tears into a business deal, large purchase or important relationship, take a second to review this list. Create reciprocal relationships to be more efficient, enjoy more benefits and avoid unnecessary harm and time-waste.
Have any of the above every happened to you? How did you handle it? Write in and let me know. Your comments help all our readers.
