Yesterday, Joseph Stack flew his plane into the IRS building in Austin, Texas. The scene was dreadful and frightening. As of this writing two people have died. A senseless action.

What influenced this man to carry out such a horrendous act? Is the IRS a powerful influence over a person’s decision to become violent? Or was the influence that existed taken in such a way that hopelessness was the only result. What occurred inside this seemingly sane person that caused him to burn his home then do a kamikaze? The answer my friends is simple… Emotions.

In my blog, How I Conquer the 3 Biggest Barriers to Influence, I revealed the 3 psychological emotions that stand in your way of having influence over yourself. When we allow an outside force, person or organization to influence our good judgment we must take action as to WHO and WHAT influences our lives.

My heart hurts for his family and I send my most sincere condolences. As a professional, a licensed psychologist and one who has counseled many – I’d like to talk about influence and how it affects a woman’s life everyday.

The Danger of Hopelessness and Desperation Hopelessness is having no expectation of success - believing there is no solution. It threatens our physical and psychological well being. It is an “end” emotion meaning there is no possible change.

Desperation is defined as ‘recklessness arising from despair.’ Desperation blinds us to a sense of self preservation - unable to think clearly about our behavior. In massive quantities, we become influenced by the deep wallows of despair and hopelessness. These two emotions must be influenced by our own inner truth and value.

As women especially WE must influence these two emotions when they arise. Trust me, they will arise… and the truth of how valuable you are and the reality of hope must be at the core of your existence. Why is this important to know? These emotions, when left unchecked or unresolved, can impair our ability to naturally tune into our ‘inner fluency’ where we find 5 elements necessary for accomplishment:

  1. The possibility of success
  2. A sense of personal power
  3. See your options
  4. Social and external support
  5. Positive view of the future

Hopelessness and desperation prevent women from acting on what their intuition is telling them. Hopelessness and desperation cause women to abandon their dreams. Giving up on your dreams isn’t acceptable. Not ever. Where do you start to prevent or stop a spiral of hopelessness?

  1. Know that self confidence is at the center of hope. Do three things everyday to boost your self-confidence. You are valuable. Your value is God given and designed. Cling to that confidence- remember how powerful you are.
  2. Keep you dreams at hand. State your dream aloud and place it in places where you will see it everyday. Believe in your dreams even if no one else does. Dream like a child with reckless abandon and allow your heart, spirit and mind to tap into that.
  3. Trust your intuition to guide your journey to self discovery. Get quiet. Remove distractions.  Listen to the whispers of your soul. Write them down. They are designed to guide you, protect you and give you the courage you need. If thoughts that are contrary to what you’ve written down previously rise up- bring the truth back.
  4. Perceive yourself as a woman who is powerful, all-knowing, and sassy! Celebrate your feminine persona frequently. You are unique. There is no one like you. You have a birthright to be powerful, free and alive. Circumstances don’t have authority over that- your choices do.
  5. Practice extreme gratitude. Appreciate you because insecurity ruins confidence. Find three things to be grateful for. Accept the gratitude that others speak to you.

What helps you to rekindle your hope in seemingly hopeless situations? I’d love to hear from you!  Ladies, we have to stick together! It takes a community of influencing women to change our world! I’d like to start such a community with my readers.

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From regional manager to international executive with quadruple the pay, Karen Keller’s unique blueprint carefully outlined the step-by-step process for creating high-impact influence and let me know when I was being influenced in a way that didn’t serve me.
Lloyd Moore
Global Director Supplier Quality & Development - Lear Corporation – South Carolina